To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxeries; avoid all entaglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulberable.
They exist exclusively in the present, harboring no regrets of the past nor expectations for the future. Simply, secretly, they occupy a place in your heart you never knew existed, a reminder the world has just begun again.
There are families that I could photograph and laugh with all day long. I’ve been fortunate to have been photographing this family for years now (OG clients, represent!) so its a thrilling honor to document their +1.
Groggy with extra snuggles in our bed. Extra snuggles with each other. Extra snuggles with a favorite stuffy. While I stumble to make a pot of coffee and their daddy starts on breakfast, the exuberant and bright childhood energy explodes.
These are a few images from a project documenting ourmy days. The everyday, the routine, the monotony. Because when you are living in that everyday, hampster-on-a-wheel-trying-so-hard-to-keep-up, it easy to loose sight of the beauty in it all. Because, really, what the hell could be beautiful about washing the same load of laundry for the second or third time, or seeing the dishes pile up again? How do you see beauty in tripping over toys, vacuuming 2-3 times a day (I swear there are elves whose sole purpose of living is to throw crumbs all over my floor!) and frantically looking for lovies. Where is the beauty in convincing your 5 year old that hair does indeed need to be brushed every day and dreadlocks are not an option while simultaneously cooking your toddler his 3rd breakfast and your coffee is an awkward lukewarm temperature. Show me the beauty in the pile of dishes and dirty counters and cabinets as the aftermath of all those breakfasts and thrice nuked coffee.
But in that chaos is the love. The scattered blankets and pillows in the living room are there because there were kids having crazy fun together. The dirty dishes remind you of the sweet conversations you had while eating together. The messy hands and faces. The explorations and ceaseless curiosity. The muddy paw prints of beloved pets all over the hardwood floor from chasing the kids back into the house. The chaos and dirt and chasing, well, thats you living. And that is beautiful.
2014, in a nutshell, was a year of discovery and transition. In August I returned from a year and a half hiatus (having my little Oliver) to reestablishing my photography business. The seasons were strung together from peek to valley, threaded from moment to moment, expanded by never-ending change, rattled by turmoil and loss and fortified by finding the shimmer of light in the shadows. There were many moments of the daily, the ordinary, the uncertainty, the simple joys, the shadows and the light. There was a season of darkness. There was a season of light. In those seasons I learned that every chapter is worth capturing, remembering and imprinting. I used to only look for the bright light and thought life should be brilliant at all times. However, the luminosity of light never seemed so beautiful until in came from the shadows. There are shadows everywhere and within everyone. And they shouldn’t be ignored for that is where the shine lights the brightest.
Now, instead of insisting on brightness all the time, I quietly and patient wait for light to emerge from the shadows.
Thank you to all my repeating clients – your loyalty and trust in me makes my job so fulfilling. Thank you to new clients for giving me a shot and playing with me. Thank you to most of my clients that become friends – greatest job perk! Thank you for all the amazing referrals that kept me incredibly busy the past 5 months that I have been back, it gives me great hope for 2015 – I know there are tons and tons of options and I appreciate it all and always.
Cheers to twenty fifteen and the upcoming seasons of light and dark. Embrace it all.
