To be an artist is to have something deep inside you that needs ignition; a yearning that calls to be awakened. To be an artist is to cultivate that fire into a vision; organic, unique, representative of whom you are as an individual. Anyone can call themselves an artist, but many are merely imitations struggling to be a lesser version of somebody else. It is those who never stray, those who commit to who they are, those who believe there is purpose in keeping the fire ignited that will succeed.
It has been a pretty intense year for me personally. And I needed to push myself creatively. Staying in one place is not ok with me – my gypsy heart – and I think it is important to change things up and break your own barriers.
I’m being brave and posting one of my first rolls of film I have shot in many, many years. I received a film camera for Mother’s Day this year and this is one of the first two from my new camera.
I love how real it is. Its raw, and pure, and so lovely. It feels like the film grain has enveloped the moment and showcases the emotion proudly.
I have been receiving a few emails/texts asking if my little guy is here yet, so thought I’d do a little FAQ post on here:
– I am technically on “maternity leave” – but really only from shooting sessions. I am still trying to catch up on editing because I was so ill and basically useless for so many months. Who knew the last couple of weeks of this pregnancy would be when I felt the best?!
– I will start full on maternity leave as soon as he arrives. We are on an appointment-by-appointment basis at this point, due to some complications. I go to see the doctors 2-3 times/week and basically have to be ready to deliver at a moments notice.
– My due date is just 2.5 weeks away!!!!
– His nursery got put together real quick when we found out at 33 weeks that he could be here at any moment! SO incredibly thankful that I may carry this babe to (technically) term!!! I will post pictures of his nursery when he gets here and when its actually done done. :)
– The HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) is still around but at a manageable point where I have been able to wean myself off of most of my meds. I still take anti-nausea medication as needed.
I think those are most of the questions…
The picture above was taken yesterday at the perinatologist office, although I get weekly ultrasounds they hardly ever show me his face or 4D images (or what I call, “claymation images”) so this was a special treat! Look at that pouty face!!! And those lips; have no idea where he got those from! :)
There is a baby book that I have for Claire that sits in her bookshelf and every time I see it, it gives me a crazy mommy guilt trip (“My baby won’t remember the first time she drooled on me now!!!!”). It is pretty much empty. I’m just not good at that stuff. Her life and milestones are documented via iPhone, special sessions and whenever I happen to have my big camera out. Even then its hard: We have a family philosophy that when we are together – we should all be together, engaged in the moment. So I limit how often I have my big camera out, and checking email/facebook on our phone – however, I still like keeping my phone around to capture day-to-day moments. Sigh. The balance of parenthood.
This session was super special for Claire. Allie has been the only non-family member to watch Claire. (even then, I think its only been her grandmothers that have taken care of her…) AND SHE IS THE MOST AMAZING BABYSITTER EVER! and she left to bigger pastures. Sad faces go here. Claire was so excited for this session – she changed her clothes a couple of times because “this [what she was wearing] is just not cute enough for a photo shoot”. She had a great time playing in the wildflowers with Allie and has chosen her favorite photo to go into an empty frame she’s had in her room.
The other day when we drove by this location, I heard her sigh from the backseat. I asked her what was wrong. She responded, in an exasperated voice, “The wildflowers are all gone. (pause) And so is Allie.” The child has flare for the dramatic I suppose.
And yes folks, Allie always looks this freakin’ gorgeous.
Allie, I hope Chicagoland is treating you well and we miss you tons and tons! We will be visiting you next summer ;) But hoping we get to see you sooner than that!
She’s alive!!!!!! Barely, but yes, alive. There are quite a few things going on:
I’m pregnant! YAY!
Pregnancy and my body do not agree – BOO! I’ve been diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG)- yeah, the same thing Dutchess Kate is going through. I’ve been admitted into the hospital twice now due to severe dehydration and its no fun being so sick all day, every day.
Being on the computer makes me incredibly nauseous. So I’ve been working on this post for about two weeks now. Ya.
Despite this unforeseen roadblock, there are still LOTS of fun things going on this year at Free Bird and I really can’t wait to start sharing with you! :)
Since I am due at the beginning of July, I am taking 8 weeks off – two weeks prior (because it’s likely I’ll deliver early) and 6 weeks after the babes gets here. So, what this means to you is that my “busy season” is drastically shortened. If you know you want summer portraits please get your name on my calendar!!
So that’s that. If you have any questions/concerns/words of wisdom on how to desensitize my nose to smells please tell me :)
And I do not want to leave you with the image of me being all sickly… so here is a radiantly glowing mama and adorable family! Her little girl should be here any day now and I can only imagine how breathtaking she will be.
